First Post/Bad Communication

As my first post to WordPress, i understand that it’s probably meant to be something a little more interesting then you’d expect if i’d written, say, about five so far. It’s like a pilot of a television show. It has to be engaging or the show really wont stand the test of the viewers reaction. I have written blogs in the past. I’ve podcasted in the past. Neither were very well received. Well, you can’t expect much from a blog, really. The only people who would read your blog would be your friends. And if it were someone foreign to you, than you’d need to have at least some kind of credible online status to attract the interest. But, now you’re here, reading this, i imagine you to be someone with patience and intelligence. And are very physically attractive, and carry the charms of a god. [To self: If that doesn't get them, nothing will.]. Oh, btw; from now on, if you see anything written in “[]” those brackets, be sure to remember that they are just mindless thought i have when writing this. The more common “()” will just be additives that is meant to be read and intended for you to gloss over. Side issues in what i’m saying, but more ‘This may be interesting to you’ rather then the inside thoughts of a weird stranger. I added the square brackets in an attempt to entertain your interest, as it is always amusing to speculate on others thoughts on what they do, how they present themselves and their opinions and other such nonsense. It’s just an added novelty, really.

I am a keen ranter. When i say keen, i don’t mean that i go to the extent of looking around for something to whinge about, because i enjoy it so much, i just do it a lot; being as cynical, as i am. Little things annoy me. Things like small talk, that annoys me a lot. I know several people online who really don’t know how to form reasonable conversation, past asking me about my state, what i’ve done during the day (to which the answer is more than likely nothing at all, at least of any interest, so that annoys me even more because i don’t have a decent answer to give them.) or was it a good one and asking what i’m doing presently. It’s usually the same every time, and because they’ve started that off, it’s hard to move on to more interesting conversation. You already known that this person is an unimaginative bore, with nothing to offer me. The worst ones are the ones that don’t even try at all. At least these people are attempting it, the other ones couldn’t care less. They’re the ones that you say hi to (i’m talking mainly about msn, here) , don’t bother to respond until they’re finished stimulating themselves and reply like they didn’t make you wait half an hour. There’s no sorry and there’s no remorse for their rudeness. So you’ll start the conversation (which is nice of you, first off; you don’t have to attempt to show them you like their presence), start basic conversation and then they just can’t be bothered. You pass the small talk, but you can go for an hour, come back to the pc and they haven’t said anything. They’re that lazy, they don’t want to stir the conversation themselves because that’s more time talking, and less time masturbating. So, what do you do? Yes, you inject some conversation, just to spice things up; try and get their creative juices flowing and perhaps provoke an intelligent conversation to spring forth. You just state a random fact, or something that’s on your mind. It’s creative, it’s giving a little bit of yourself, it’s showing that you think they give a damn about you and your opinions. But when they respond with the attitude of ‘Do you really think i care?’, it kind of makes you want to splice their face open with a blunt biscuit tin. Or, they’ll just get to the point where they’re so lazy they cannot be bothered saying anything at all. It means the same thing as the latter sentence internal monologue, but they’ve just not given you a dismissive answer. This is more, if it was in person, a dismissive look. Or more likely, just ignore you’ve said that at all. And you find that people find it more than acceptable to do that online, but some reason they don’t do it in real life (that’s assuming you’ve met them in real life. But a phone call kind of shows my point as well). They would be considered somewhat rude, so they save it for online. I always find that talking online, is like linking up heads with a wire and discussing whatever. Now, that may sound a bit unusual, but just hear me out. Or read me out. You tend to be a little bit more honest and say things you wouldn’t necessarily say in real life; be it positive or negative. You may tell a friend that you love them more than life itself, but would feel uncomfortable saying it to their face, in fear of judgement. It’s like you can get away with saying that online because it’s like your sharing each-others thoughts, but it’s selective, you can let them know what you’re thinking, personally, without worry of others knowing. When it’s in person, it’s more direct and you’re being put on the spot as it were and you have less time to think through things you’re going to say, where as online you can say it and you have more time to digest the feeling, think of an answer and wording it as appropriate as you want it to be.

I also find that people can say things and be able to take them back online. Often people make generalizations in MySpace bulletins, for example and give their piece on something and may say something that somehow includes the entire consensus of readers with such terms as ‘you all’ and ‘everyone’; but they don’t really mean everyone (at least that’s what they say) because when someone goes ‘Do you hate me?’ etc, they more than likely go ‘Nooo’ and they move on. It’s not meant to be personal, because it’s not directed at one person. It’s like when someone says ‘I hate everyone’ [I've used that phrase today]; they don’t literally mean everyone and they don’t mean that they hate, they just are unhappy with the way they’re being treated by the people they love, that are letting them down, one way, or another.

But, as much as people insist that they hate everyone, they always come crawling back because you’ll find that people do things to others, and don’t care about it, or just blatantly think they’re not in the wrong or they’re not being referred to because they think themselves that amazing. I, personally, whenever i think i’ve harmed someone on some level, i want to make it sure that it’s not malicious if they’ve taken it that way, and i didn’t mean it that way. Obviously, if i did mean it that way, then i wouldn’t apologize unless proven wrong, even then it’s a bit of a struggle. It’s hard to swallow your pride, because you’ve walked in, accused someone of something, and when they provide their defense with a fair argument, what more can you do than just go ‘Yeah, well…be that as it may…’ and invent some elaborate excuse for you being right, just to save face. The Salem witch trails ended the lives of several people, over this matter.

This next week i am going to attempt to make the week as entertaining and enjoyable as possible, by doing something every day, except sunday. Even God needed to rest.
I’ll try and keep you posted.

Love, always.
Eliot.