God, i’m sorry for boasting all this amazing luck that i have.

I don’t really have any friends. I know some people, yes, but in terms of anything more than that; like the kind of friends that you share ever lasting memories with and are always in their company, alas, i have no one. The only person who i could even consider with such a tag is moving away. And, as my eighteenth birthday approaches, i realize that i have no one, which means that i shall become a man, all on my own. I believe that friends make living worth all the shit you experience, but when you have non, it’s hard to rely on that piece of philosophy. So, when you’re telling me i’m shit, remember, you don’t know how to feel this lonely. I don’t trust people any more. I’ve trusted a lot of people in the past, and they all broke it, spat on it, and threw it back in my face.

I haven’t got a job. Everytime i apply for one, i never hear anything back. Applying for more jobs deafeats it’s own point because nothing ever comes of it. But, say i get a job interview. I’ll do really well at it. I’ll be confident and i’ll be pleasurable and all that shit they want. I shake their hand, i look them in the eye. Yes, so why do they never bother employing me? If a white trash twat can get a job, why can’t i?! And it makes me sick when people who think they know what they’re lecturing me on, think it’s their place to tell me that i don’t try and that i should ‘get a job’. Shut the fuck up. If it were as easy as applying myself to it, i’d have a fucking job by now, you arrgoent TWAT. You know nothing. As much as you think your head is bigger than anything i’ve set my eyes on, i must inform you that you are very much mistaken. You haven’t been applying for jobs and trying, failing, giving up and trying again for twelve months, you know nothing, so refrain from giving me advice on these things you don’t understand.

Being a gay, single near-eighteen year old, living in Wrexham is a fucking bitch. I’ve only been in one relationship, and that only lasted two days. I watch everyone else in relationships and i hope they realize how lucky they really are. The population of gay people in Wrexham is asexuality and annoyance, neither i like at all, and yet i’m expected to be happy, regardless.

I’m very lonely.

So, considering all that, you can see why it all gets me down.